Wednesday, 2 March 2016

Figuring it out #3 - Life doesn't stick to your plan

I've never really been a planner, I'm usually a 'you tell me what's happening and I'll be there' kinda gal. But sometimes I like to create the illusion that I know where my life is heading, when honestly I have no clue what so ever. Still. One of my first posts in this series was about me thinking of uni and what I want to do etc and In the end I choose to defer my choice a year. Something I kind of regret now. 

My plan certainly wasn't to be 6 months in and still be unemployed. The plan was to take a break from education, get a job, save a little money and hopefully do some travelling before September the following year. For some reason no one wants to employ me and it's not for the lack of trying. I'm applying to at least one everyday. I'm starting to get desperate! 

My plan was to never feel like a bum, I'm so over sitting around. My plan was to never feel like I've failed and feel so behind in life like everyone else. I dread being asked what I'm doing at the moment, because I'm doing nothing. I'm just existing and it bloody sucks. 

Anyway my point is that life doesn't stick to a plan. You can try it, you can have a rough outline but 9 times out of 10 it won't go how you want it to. I've always said I believe in things happen for a reason, but I sure would like the reasoning behind this lack of anything...

I'm officially stuck and I admit I have no idea what I'm doing with any aspect of my life. I'm drowning and I've yet to find a way to swim up to the surface. 

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