Tuesday, 7 June 2016

You are your limit!

I know my faults. If there is something that I know will make me uncomfortable and make me feel anxious, I will avoid it if I can. It's a horrible feeling so why would I do it if I don't have to?!

Anything that makes me the centre of attention, I am outta there! The amount of presentations at school and college that I've either blagged a day off or managed to talk my way out of is pretty damn high. Or how I've got someone else to order for me in a restaurant or paid for my shopping because the thought of doing it myself feels me with dread and fidgety.  Or the fact that If I don't know you I literally forget how to spell my own name or what my age is. Testimony to this statement I was in an airport last year and was asked my age, I told him I was 18 I was in fact 20.  I have cancelled dates with friends because I just couldn't bring myself to go. The list is endless. I like to fondly (not so much) refer to myself as socially inept. 

Anyway that's beside the point, this really is just a little post for me and maybe even you that no matter what you're feeling, you can do it! 

After nearly a year of job searching I've finally got myself my first job at Claires Accessories and it all kind of happened with in a week. I dropped in an application form, I got a call that day an interview two days later and was told they were offering me a job the day after that. 

I was dreading it! But I knew I needed to put myself out there not only because its necessary as an adult, but to help me too. I know I'm not good at interviews, I hate meeting new people, I don't come across confident at all and I hate eye contact. Honestly is there anything more uncomfortable?! But I was determined I was going to ace this. To calm my nerves, I need to be prepared and have a plan. I researched the company, questions I was going to be asked and wrote possible responses and was reading it over literally until I had to leave my house. It kind of helped, even if half the questions I answered weren't on there; but it made me feel better.

I've been trying this new thing called 'Law of attraction' which is basically if you put positive or negative thoughts out into the universe, negativity or positivity experience come back to them. It's a theory I'm really interested in and I'll be honest I feel it's helping me out. Look more into it, it's pretty damn interesting. I've been looking into crystals to, I had two in my bag for my interview. I'll talk all the help I can get and all things like this interest me. I really think it's working for me as a person, I feel... a lot lighter, for lack of better words for explanation.

After doing nothing at all for almost a year, which sounds like a dream but god is it demotivating I found myself feeling pretty lacklustre about well anything and any motivation I had was really at an all time low.
It's funny how getting up early to do the school run for my mum and getting a job really changes your mood. No I'm not jumping for joy that I have to go to work, but who really does?! Its exciting to actually be considering doing all the things I could only dream of a few months ago, I can now make real life plans.

Having a routine and waking up early has really made me feel so much better. I finally feel normal, like I can take on the whole world.  Now that's a bold statement. 


Courtney xo


  1. God I can relate to this post so much! I'm finding that I'm so much more anxious being at home with no where to be, I think it's probably because I have all of this spare time that needs filling and I annoyingly fill it by letting my thoughts run wild. I'm so glad to hear that getting a job is making you feel better though - it's my next step!

    Lauren x

    1. I'm so glad! :) Yeah I think when your not kind of forcing yourself into everyday situations, it gets harder to muster the courage to do even the 'normal' everyday things! Good luck looking for a job.

      Courtney xo